Fuck the school run

Today I have taken over doing the school run for the first time since Yelena was born. Bah Humbug!

Am I the only one who absolutely hates the school run? It starts off with trying to get the kids ready on time without sky rocketing your blood pressure and threatening to sell them on eBay. My kids need to be told the same thing 3 times and then screamed at the fourth time before they listen but not before they argue with me about how unnecessary it is for me to shout 😠

Today was a particularly horrendous one, bordering on disaster! Started off ok, I woke up to these two like this which is always a great start.

I was so proud that I managed to get the baby fed and changed, Yiethan dressed, his hair neatly combed and fed a decent breakfast with time to spare, all with limited moments of raised tempers. Even Yanice was ready on time by some miracle – only takes him over a bloody hour to get dressed! Kids ready, baby in car seat and my mother announces she can’t find her car keys. FFS!!! 🤬🤬🤬

She left them in my husband’s car so he had to turn around on his way to work to deliver them. With rush hour traffic he takes ages so we are now officially late! Yanice who hates breaking the rules is on the verge of having a melt down as he stares at the minutes going by on the clock, huffing and puffing and pacing around the kitchen and screaming at poor Yiethan who as always has a “don’t give a fuck” attitude and wants Yan to play superheroes while we wait.

We are finally on our way. Traffic like a mother fucker causing my anxiety to act up, made worse by Yanice yelling the time every time one minute passes as if that would miraculously convert the car into a bloody spaceship!!! Manage to get Yanice to the drop off point with 2 minutes to do the 5 minute walk to school. He is fuming and gets out the car without saying goodbye. Little poo – as if this is my fault! 😠
Pull into Yiethan’s school and all the responsible parents are leaving. I am the only delinquent mother running into the school yard 10 minutes late, dragging my kid behind me. Had to make the walk of shame to the main office to be greeted by the headmaster (judging me I’m sure!) so I can get Yiethan to his classroom.

Finally get back home where I can breathe and take a much needed nap. Greeted by 6 missed calls from my husband, 3 from Yanice and a text from husband “Answer your damn phone!! Yanice’s school is closed today!”
WHAT THE FUCK??!!! Once again I am the only mother who knows nothing about what is going on! How is everyone aware of this apart from me….AGAIN?!

Rush back to get Yanice to receive a lecture from him about all the embarrassment I caused him today 🙄

Round two of getting back home, change baby only for her to projectile shit all over me! 🤮🤮🤮

Fuck this motherhood bullshit!! I do not wish to adult today and it’s only 9am! 😭

I hope you have a better Monday than me 😘